Category: Behold Vancouver

Historically, the word “rule” (regula) didn’t mean a set of laws to obey, but rather a guide for growing toward the good — like a trellis supporting a vine.

Most of us, it seems, are not called to the cloister. We have dishes to wash, meetings to attend, children to raise, aging parents to care for. And yet, many people — religious or not — find themselves longing for something monasteries seem to hold: rhythm, meaning, peace. The good news is you don’t need to be a monk to draw wisdom from monastic life. A rule of life can anchor anyone who seeks to live with intention.

Historically, the word “rule” (regula) didn’t mean a set of laws to obey, but rather a guide for growing toward the good — like a trellis supporting a vine.

Monastic rules, like that of St. Benedict, weren’t designed to stifle life but to shape it. They balanced prayer, work, community, and rest into a daily pattern that could be lived out faithfully for decades, even in times of uncertainty or suffering.

And while those in monastic communities take formal vows, each of us is called to discern how we uniquely live out our own vocation — whether that’s through marriage, single life, consecrated life, or something still unfolding. Developing a somewhat personal rule of life can help us discover not just how to live, but how to live well, in a way that aligns with our deepest identity and gifts.

Clarity

In other words: You don’t need to live in a monastery to live with clarity. You don’t need to chant the Psalms at dawn to seek holiness. But you do need some rhythm — a way of life that keeps you grounded when distractions multiply or fatigue sets in. A rule of life helps you say yes to what matters and no to what doesn’t, not just in emergencies, but every day.

St. Benedict’s motto, ora et labora — pray and work — speaks to this. His Rule didn’t separate the sacred from the ordinary. Tending the garden, cooking the meals, caring for guests: it was all part of the same life of prayer. For us, too, our work, rest, and relationships can all be shaped by grace, if we approach them intentionally.

Some people imagine a rule of life must be elaborate or intensely spiritual. In truth, it can be rather simple–or begin with adopting some regular habits. Over time, these rhythms become formational. They reveal our unique spiritual temperament and charisms—what gives us life and how we are called to give life to others.

Often, in the therapy room, I ask clients about their family, and draw something called a genogram map. Part of my therapeutic framework is that we are influenced, shaped, wounded, loved, delighted in, and healed in our families of origin. As a therapist, families of origin also help me develop a fuller picture of the suffering of the client: their behaviours, thought processes, and ways of being. Internally, I develop more compassion and curiosity towards clients as well. 

I was recently struck by a truth that I read in a blogpost: “To evangelize the culture, we must first see our culture clearly”. There seems to be a parallel here with the above therapeutic practices: when we know where we are and where we stand, we begin to understand ‘the lay of the land’. This awareness will help us figure out more clearly how to move forward. 

The “lay of the land” at the parish level looks something like this: people are coming to church with their Christian significant others having no idea what is going on at Mass. People are sitting in the pews, going out of obligation – not love – for maybe 20+ years. At my parish, there are people showing up who are yearning to belong to some sort of community. Some are coming after years of religious searching and often asking the question, “what is my purpose in this life?”. Additionally we have broken families, single parents, and single people from countries at war are seeking refuge and freedom. 

Our culture is transitioning. Stores are open on Sundays. Families attending church together on Sundays is out of the norm.The assumption that those who choose to send their kids to Christian or Catholic schools are themselves religious is naught. Christian influence on culture is indeed fading; sometimes considered even an unintelligent way to engage with the world. I remember sitting in my Biological Psychology class where my professor stated publicly that if we were to have religious views of the human person, we would have no place in the world of Psychology. 

From Christendom to Apostolic Mission

The mode where the Christian imaginative vision influences society is called Christendom. We are no longer in this mode; instead, we have moved into something called the Apostolic Mode. I do feel that these separate modes are simply different ways to engage, not disengage. We cannot simply wait passively for Christendom to come back (where the secular vision parallels the Christian vision). 

In the Apostolic Mode, the Christian faith does not play a central role in society; in fact, Christianity feels more costly because it is often considered an outdated or indoctrinated way of thinking.

Fr. Mark-Mary talks about how to live your best life (but in a Catholic way).

 When we read the lives of the saints, we could be inclined to think that they were way more holy than us, and that they had these extraordinary gifts that made it easy for them to become saints. It’s easy to think that becoming a saint is an unrealistic goal. But the truth is, the saints were just like us. They just chose to live differently, and we can too. 

“Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). 

A lot of the time, in trying to judge whether we’re living a life centered in Christ, we compare ourselves to those around us, especially nonbelievers. The problem with this is that, just as it says in Romans 12, we’re not called to be good or better by the world’s standards. We’re called to be saints. And to be saints, it’s going to require an outlook that doesn’t compare ourselves to those around us, but to strive for the perfection of Heaven. 

How can we do this? The answer is a little different for everyone, but it all consists in following the life of Christ, and living in accordance with his teachings. Things like committing ourselves to daily prayer, avoiding sin, performing works of charity; all of these things allow ourselves to transcend this world and reach for the eternal. Everything we do to strengthen our relationship with Christ gets us one step closer to being saints. 

The saints were people who saw this life on earth as an opportunity to better themselves for the sake of the Kingdom. It’s something that each of us can consciously choose to do every day. The beauty of this approach is that, the more we surrender ourselves to the Lord in little ways, the easier it becomes to surrender in larger ways. Powerhouse saints like St. Francis and St. Clare didn’t just magically surrender every part of themselves to Christ; it all started with little things like saying a morning offering every morning, or refraining from gossiping, or volunteering at their local charity. And this is what we are all called to do. 

Instead of judging the success of your life by looking at those around you, look instead to the Church and the lives of the saints, and ask yourself “What more can I do to give my life to Christ?” We aren’t called to be conformed to the world, but to transform it through our faith and our witness.

This week Matt and Jared talk with Haley Stewart, who is a writer, speaker, podcaster, and Catholic convert. Haley shares about the power of story in her life, the importance of literature in the home, and living simply.

God gifts everyone with beautiful talents. We don’t all have the same talents, which gives each of us a unique place in God’s vineyard. Sometimes, we use the words “gifts”, “talents”, and “charisms” interchangeably, but… charisms are truly something different. Something supernatural. 

Today, Fr. Mark-Mary and Fr. Columba define and unpack the nature of charisms for us, and illuminate the incredible gift that they are to us from the Holy Spirit.

The Principle and Foundation is not just a theological idea — it is an invitation to a life of clarity, peace, and freedom.

Every generation asks the same question in different ways: What is the purpose of life? Is it success, the pursuit of happiness, or the accumulation of wealth and comfort? St. Ignatius of Loyola, writing in the 16th century, offered a strikingly different answer — one that remains as challenging today as it was then.

For Ignatius, human life has a clear purpose: to know, love, and serve God. Everything else — our ambitions, relationships, even our struggles — must be seen in light of this ultimate goal.

This idea forms the foundation of his Spiritual Exercises, a work that has shaped Jesuit spirituality and the broader Church for centuries. At its core is the Principle and Foundation, a brief but radical statement that reorients how we see ourselves, the world, and God.

More than a theological premise, it is an invitation to freedom — freedom from attachment, from illusions of control, and from anything that keeps us from our true purpose.

What is the Principle and Foundation?

The Principle and Foundation is the starting point for Ignatian spirituality. It lays out the reason for human existence and the relationship between people and the world. Ignatius begins with a striking declaration:

“Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. All other things on the face of the earth are created for man to help him in attaining the end for which he is created.”

This statement is simple but profound. It means that our lives are not random, and we are not here merely to seek personal fulfillment. Our ultimate purpose is to know, love, and serve God. Everything else — our talents, possessions, relationships, even our struggles — should be understood in light of this purpose.

The call to radical freedom

This does not mean that Ignatius calls for a rejection of the world. What he aims for is rather a proper ordering of our relationship to it. He explains:

“From this it follows that man is to use these things to the extent that they help him to attain his end, and he must rid himself of them in so far as they prove a hindrance to him.”

This idea is the heart of Ignatian detachment, or holy indifference. It is not a call to apathy, but to radical freedom. We are not to be controlled by our desires for success, health, wealth, or pleasure — nor are we to be crushed by their absence.

Habemus Papam! We have a Pope — Pope Leo XIV! On this joyous occasion, Fr. Mike encourages us to welcome Pope Leo XIV with open hearts.

He reminds us that before forming opinions or drawing comparisons to past popes, we should first offer him the respect, trust, and prayers he deserves as our Holy Father.

Some folks maintain the notion that Jesus said we “have to love people” but “don’t have to like them”. Besides the fact that Jesus never said this… there are other reasons this false idea is holding you back from loving the way you were made to love.

Today, Fr. Mark-Mary dives deep into what it means to “like” someone and how we can show true, authentic love to everyone (and… in fact… that is our calling).

If you’re anything like me, then the call to keep holy the Sabbath is something of a challenge, thanks to a constant struggle to maintain work-life balance. Whether you find it easy to overwork without respite or struggle to get started, hitting that happy medium can be difficult. 

Honoring the Sabbath reminds us of the need for this balance: six days for work, and the seventh for worship, self-care, and spiritual and physical restoration. But when it proves difficult to actually live this out, what do we do?

To live properly and pray sincerely, we have to avoid exhaustion. We need time for fun and joy, as these rejuvenate our souls. One saint strongly associated with joy is St. Philip Neri, whom I’ve been inspired by. He uniquely blended holiness and joy throughout his life, earning him the nickname “The Laughing Saint.” Philip Neri’s spirit beautifully encapsulates the Sabbath: a celebration of joyful life unmistakably connected to God.

The saints, as we know, are meant to be our exemplars, so how do we emulate Philip Neri? Well, I can give you an example of what not to do. It’s crucial to be intentional and avoid letting Sunday become overwhelmed with mundane tasks (yard work, for instance), or, for the readers in my age group, schoolwork. So many times I would walk into my college’s library on a Sunday and witness row after row of students hunkered over their studies. Though it is good for students to work, I wished we’d chosen another day to put our noses to the grindstone.

Philip Neri was a very hardworking man, but also one who knew how to balance his duties with fun. Philip’s mission was to restore Rome, which had fallen into spiritual disarray during the early 16th century, to a passionate love of the faith. He accomplished this by establishing authentically human connections with those around him, which sometimes involved deep conversations, but oftentimes did not. He played practical jokes and took part in wine-drinking contests to make himself more approachable to those around him. After Philip’s death, doctors discovered that his heart had grown noticeably larger, to the point of damaging two of his ribs — a true testament to this great man’s jubilant heart.

Everything Philip Neri did, regardless of how frivolous it may have seemed on the surface, had a purpose indisputably connected to God. His entire ministry was treated as one continuous Sabbath, vividly showcasing his blend of holiness and joy. This is why I’ve found him so inspiring personally — the mindset we’re called to emulate on the Sabbath, he exemplified throughout his whole life.

Inspired by his love, passion, and charity, we can bring this saintly approach to the Sabbath into our own lives.