Category: Behold Vancouver

His 4 tips will help you understand your feelings better.

St. Ignatius Loyola gives such revealing, accurate, and universal advice in his book Spiritual Exercises that it can be used in many life situations. The founder of the Jesuit order was a profound psychologist long before psychology was even a field of study, and two centuries before the term itself was invented.

The book contains practical words of advice for dealing with feelings — whether pleasant or negative — which can be summarized in four points:

Identify

The book by the founder of the Jesuits is full of visual descriptions of emotions. For example, Ignatius writes:

“(…) I use the word ‘consolation’ for every increase in hope, faith and love and every inner joy that calls and attracts to heavenly things and to the salvation of the soul, calming it and soothing in the Creator and Lord …” “By ‘desolation’ I mean (…) the darkness and disturbance in the soul, attraction to what is low and of the earth, anxiety arising from various agitations and temptations.”

Identifying one’s own emotions is not always easy. In psychology, much is said today about being in touch with our feelings. And we can struggle with this, especially if we’re told from childhood that what we want and how we feel is not important. In such a situation, a child focuses on survival and hiding his feelings deeply. Even if he later finds friendly souls, he will often have great difficulty revealing his true feelings. Such difficulties can also arise as a result of traumatic experiences.

Any of us, however, can at times be “in denial” about our own feelings, or somewhat blind to them, if we’re focusing too much on what we think we should be feeling, or on other people’s feelings, etc.

Accept

Allow me to repeat a platitude: feelings are neither good nor bad. Every one of them, even rage or jealousy, are merely information for us. After that, the choice is ours to make either good or bad decisions.

St. Ignatius knew this very well. In Spiritual Exercises, he didn’t chastise, scorn, or condemn the negative emotions, and neither was he too enthusiastic about consolations. For example, he soberly observed that when a person is in the early stages of the spiritual path, the path of virtue is for him sweet, easy and joyful, but when he attains a particular stage of intimacy with God, he begins to feel sadness and discouragement. He doesn’t say either is better than the other; he considers both to be natural.

Understand

The conversion of St. Ignatius began with his awareness that while reading stories about knights and quests, he first felt enjoyment and excitement, but later it was followed by sadness and disappointment.

Can your feelings be sinful? 

Fr. Mike Schmitz reminds us that “sin and virtue do not reside in the emotions, they reside in the will.” Our emotions, whether positive or negative, don’t make us good or bad; what matters is how we respond to them. Use your emotions to choose and pursue the good!

What do you say when someone dies? How do you help those in their suffering? 

Jeff Cavins shares an emotional story of sitting next to a woman on a plane who’s brother just died. Follow Jeff as he takes you on the difficult but transformative experience of comforting the broken hearted.

What does it look like to turn a paycheck into purpose? In this episode of Called, Father Mike Schmitz sits down with Chris Green, President of Humanitarian Hotels, to explore how the hospitality industry can become a mission field. 

With over 35 years of experience, Chris shares how true leadership is about seeing people, creating meaningful culture, and using every gift for something greater. Discover how entire hotels are giving 100% of their profits to charity, why authentic service transforms both staff and guests, and how you, too, can step fully into the person God made you to be.

What does it mean to be a missionary in everyday life? 

During the 2024 Good News Conference, Harvard professor and social scientist Arthur Brooks described the work of an ordinary missionary, called not to knock on doors, but to share a faith that is public, normal, and magnetic.

As we discover the lives of the saints, it seems they endured quite a bit of suffering before receiving their eternal reward. It begs the question, is it worth it? 

Fr. Mike reminds us that in this life, we will have suffering. The question is not, can you avoid suffering by avoiding Jesus? The question is, can your suffering be transformed by embracing Jesus?

In this episode, we talk about what it means to weather the storms of life well. Everyone experiences difficult moments throughout their lives and these storms come in all shapes and sizes. In each one, we have the opportunity to respond from a place of truth and peace instead of fear. We share practical ways we’ve learned to weather the storms in our own lives, from simplifying life to immersing ourselves in Scripture. We also explore how pain, though difficult, can lead us into deeper healing and communion with God. No matter what you’re facing, you are not alone—He is near, and so are we.

Brett’s low this week leads to an extended conversation about the internal critic, a diminishing voice that tends to show up when we least want it: during a work meeting, right before an important exam or in an important conversation with a loved one. Where does the diminisher come from and how can we tell the voice of the enemy from the voice of God? Brett and Jake share their reflections and offer suggestions about how we can react maturely in ways that draw us back to reality and our sonship in the Father.

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Guiding Quote

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. – 1 John 4:18

Key Points

• Brett’s low leads into a discussion about the diminisher voice

• How self-awareness helps us identify the diminisher voice 

• Unhelpful behaviors that we might have in reaction to the voice of the diminisher

• Brett’s shares about fog in Saskatchewan and why this is a great analogy for the inner critic

• Jake and Brett share their definitions of the inner critic or diminisher

• The diminisher viciously attacks our sonship and identity in Father

• The diminisher voice feels so real in the moment, how can we tell what’s from God and what’s not?

• Helpful practices for working against the diminisher in the moment

• How vulnerability with trusted brothers can help you through the fog 

Discussion Questions

1. What stood out to you in this episode?

2. What’s an experience you can recall when you felt the impact of the diminisher voice? What allowed you to recognize it for what it was, either in the moment or later?

3. How long does it take for the effects of the fog to pass? 

4. The next time you feel yourself in ‘the fog,’ what’s a method you can use to prevent you from spiraling? Ideas from the episode are: talk to a trusted brother or friend, affirm someone else, journal the feelings and bring it to the Lord.