Category: Behold Vancouver

What does it really mean to wait for Heaven? And how do we live that waiting well? In this conversation, Fr. Mike Schmitz sits down with Bishop Robert Barron  to talk about one of the most essential (and challenging) parts of the spiritual life: learning to wait for the summum bonum—the highest good, God Himself. 

Bishop Barron and Fr. Mike explore how every joy, loss, desire, and disappointment in this life can become a training in love—preparing us to receive the only one who can truly satisfy the human heart. 

Discover how to wait with hope, how to loosen your grip on the passing things of this world, and how to let God ready your heart for Heaven.

I’ve discerned that complaining helps me feel in control. Over time, my brain became addicted to the feeling.

Complaining can be very satisfying. There’s nothing better than getting the ear of a good friend and launching into all the things wrong with the world and how everyone is making this journey we call life miserable and why (oh why!) can’t people just stop being so annoying and start listening to me. When I manage to fire off a good rant, it makes me feel warm and cozy. Never mind the fact that I’m totally wrong. Never mind the fact that my attitude is unreasonable and unfair, or that I’m dragging my friend down with me into the muck. I still chase that feeling.

There are days when it seems all I do is complain. I complain about how other people drive, the line at the coffee shop, how much work is piled on my desk, how frustrated I am about what a friend said, how messy the house is, how bad the weather is, how I didn’t get the best parking spot, how the plumber isn’t calling me back and why did our shower even start leaking in the first place? It’s not fair.

Having become aware of my cynical need to complain. I’ve worked at significantly decreasing my negative word-count. I’ve asked myself some hard questions about why I fell into such a bad habit. Why is it that complaining feels so good.

I’ve discerned that complaining helps me feel in control. It gives me a sense of superiority. Over time, my brain became addicted to the feeling. All my neurons are now wired to respond with a sense of relief when I fire off a good complaint.

The problem is, even if it feels good to complain, it’s exceedingly harmful. It turns a person inwards, towards pride and lack of appreciation. Complaining blinds us to the good and beautiful, and thus is blinds us to God. Complaint is not meant to be our dominant language.

We are meant to speak praise.

Praise is the natural language of someone attuned to God. It isn’t a naive, generic insistence on false enthusiasm in the face of legitimate problems. Rather, it’s a specific naming of the blessings and beauty we experience on a daily basis in spite of any ill that might befall us.

Not denying that some days are harder than others, praise nevertheless insists on seeking out the presence of God in all circumstances. Having identified the divine presence at work in and through specific events and people, offering praise for them becomes a sort of sacrifice that pushes us through the doorway of Heaven.

His 4 tips will help you understand your feelings better.

St. Ignatius Loyola gives such revealing, accurate, and universal advice in his book Spiritual Exercises that it can be used in many life situations. The founder of the Jesuit order was a profound psychologist long before psychology was even a field of study, and two centuries before the term itself was invented.

The book contains practical words of advice for dealing with feelings — whether pleasant or negative — which can be summarized in four points:

Identify

The book by the founder of the Jesuits is full of visual descriptions of emotions. For example, Ignatius writes:

“(…) I use the word ‘consolation’ for every increase in hope, faith and love and every inner joy that calls and attracts to heavenly things and to the salvation of the soul, calming it and soothing in the Creator and Lord …” “By ‘desolation’ I mean (…) the darkness and disturbance in the soul, attraction to what is low and of the earth, anxiety arising from various agitations and temptations.”

Identifying one’s own emotions is not always easy. In psychology, much is said today about being in touch with our feelings. And we can struggle with this, especially if we’re told from childhood that what we want and how we feel is not important. In such a situation, a child focuses on survival and hiding his feelings deeply. Even if he later finds friendly souls, he will often have great difficulty revealing his true feelings. Such difficulties can also arise as a result of traumatic experiences.

Any of us, however, can at times be “in denial” about our own feelings, or somewhat blind to them, if we’re focusing too much on what we think we should be feeling, or on other people’s feelings, etc.

Accept

Allow me to repeat a platitude: feelings are neither good nor bad. Every one of them, even rage or jealousy, are merely information for us. After that, the choice is ours to make either good or bad decisions.

St. Ignatius knew this very well. In Spiritual Exercises, he didn’t chastise, scorn, or condemn the negative emotions, and neither was he too enthusiastic about consolations. For example, he soberly observed that when a person is in the early stages of the spiritual path, the path of virtue is for him sweet, easy and joyful, but when he attains a particular stage of intimacy with God, he begins to feel sadness and discouragement. He doesn’t say either is better than the other; he considers both to be natural.

Understand

The conversion of St. Ignatius began with his awareness that while reading stories about knights and quests, he first felt enjoyment and excitement, but later it was followed by sadness and disappointment.

Can your feelings be sinful? 

Fr. Mike Schmitz reminds us that “sin and virtue do not reside in the emotions, they reside in the will.” Our emotions, whether positive or negative, don’t make us good or bad; what matters is how we respond to them. Use your emotions to choose and pursue the good!

What do you say when someone dies? How do you help those in their suffering? 

Jeff Cavins shares an emotional story of sitting next to a woman on a plane who’s brother just died. Follow Jeff as he takes you on the difficult but transformative experience of comforting the broken hearted.

What does it look like to turn a paycheck into purpose? In this episode of Called, Father Mike Schmitz sits down with Chris Green, President of Humanitarian Hotels, to explore how the hospitality industry can become a mission field. 

With over 35 years of experience, Chris shares how true leadership is about seeing people, creating meaningful culture, and using every gift for something greater. Discover how entire hotels are giving 100% of their profits to charity, why authentic service transforms both staff and guests, and how you, too, can step fully into the person God made you to be.

What does it mean to be a missionary in everyday life? 

During the 2024 Good News Conference, Harvard professor and social scientist Arthur Brooks described the work of an ordinary missionary, called not to knock on doors, but to share a faith that is public, normal, and magnetic.

As we discover the lives of the saints, it seems they endured quite a bit of suffering before receiving their eternal reward. It begs the question, is it worth it? 

Fr. Mike reminds us that in this life, we will have suffering. The question is not, can you avoid suffering by avoiding Jesus? The question is, can your suffering be transformed by embracing Jesus?