Category: Behold Vancouver

Sometimes, Valentine’s Day can feel a little.. cliche? We fall into it “feeling” the same every year — flowers, chocolates, or dinner. These are all beautiful things! But how can we make it feel really meaningful. 

Just like anniversaries have taught us, creating intentionality in your relationship takes time, effort, and sometimes, a little extra guidance. From guidance or structure can come really profound fruit. 

Occasionally, ‘guidance’ can take the form of leaning on a list.

Again, you may be thinking:
“My spouse won’t respond if I pull out a list of questions!”
“It’s just going to be me responding.”
“I don’t feel comfortable sharing these.”
“This isn’t how my spouse and I talk to one another!”
“This feels forced and too cheesy.” 

And while these thoughts are valid, it’s important to also acknowledge that sometimes, nurturing relationships requires utilizing some communication tools to make space for the kind of experiences you truly want. 

Structure can feel forced or disingenuous; however, authentic, genuine, deep connection often doesn’t come naturally—whether that’s because you are still figuring out your communication style as a new couple or you’ve spent years getting really comfortable with one another and have fallen into status quo. 

Whether you’re spending time with your spouse or partner over dinner, writing them a card, or simply spending a few minutes together connecting between bedtimes and cleaning up the house–the questions below are meant to bring a deeper layer of intentionality. This is a chance to check in on each person and continue to support one another in the ways needed.

So, we want to propose a few Valentines Day questions to ask your partner, whether you’re in year 1 or year 30. 

• What is something that has brought you a lot of joy lately? 
• What has been the most challenging thing for you lately? 
• Pick three words you would use to describe yourself right now.
• What was the last great book you read / podcast you listened to?
• What area of life do you want to grow in? 
• What ways are you growing spiritually? 
• What do you think God is doing in your life, or speaking to you right now? 
• What has been rewarding in your career lately? 
• What has been rewarding at home? 
• What is one goal you are currently working towards?
• What was something that you have grown in valuing of your partner recently?
• What is something you feel like we’ve done well as a couple? 
• What is something that you hope we can grow in? 
• What do you need me from me? How can I support you?

This might get lost in your inbox – so download these questions as cards and print them out, or swipe through on your phone!

“I already feel guilty enough about what I did. I don’t need a priest to make me feel more guilty.”

Prayer, fasting, and almsgiving are three spiritual practices we encourage during Lent. As part of those practices, we also encourage making a good confession. And yet, rather oddly, some people see feeling guilty as an obstacle to this sacrament.

If you already feel guilty about something you have said or done, that means you recognize it as wrong. And, that’s not bad. Folks who couldn’t care less if they hurt someone are the worrisome ones. They have the bigger problem. But, back to you.

The priest isn’t there to make you feel more guilty, but to help you move through your sense of guilt to being freed to live the life that God wants you to live. God wants to unburden you from an ego that is focused only on yourself.

6 points for going to Confession without feeling more guilty

It’s been a while since I’ve gone to confession.

That’s okay. Just tell that to the priest, and he will help you. The priest understands that people forget, or even never learned, how to go to confession. So, when you go into the reconciliation room (sometimes still called the confessional), just tell him:

“Father, it’s been a while since I’ve made a confession, and I don’t remember how it’s done. Can you help me?” (or) “I haven’t done this before. I don’t know how to begin.”

Remember this ONE thing above all else.

The priest is not there to judge you, but to be a minister of God’s love and forgiveness. He is there to serve you and your relationship with God.

Before you see the priest.

Consider the following two questions in preparation for confession:

1. How long has it been since your last confession?
2. What is it that you would like God to forgive you for? If you’re not sure, then ask yourself what prompts you to go to confession. Perhaps …

• You do not pray every day.
• You intentionally hurt someone.
• You did something that is contrary to the Christian life.
• You are unable let go of a grudge against someone who hurt you or someone you love.

Remember this, too.

A confession is not a trial by a judge or jury, but part of the Sacrament of God’s forgiveness — God’s loving embrace of you. God knows that you are not perfect, which is why he gives you Jesus. Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead. With Jesus, you move through death to life. With Jesus, you can move from feeling guilty to living life as Jesus wants you to live.

As Catholics around the world embark on the Jubilee of Hope, Archbishop J. Michael Miller, CSB, has shared a Pastoral Letter encouraging us to embrace this sacred time as a season of renewal, grace, and spiritual growth. Drawing from the rich traditions of the Church, he outlines five meaningful ways to fully participate in the Jubilee Year of 2025.

Here are his five practices to help you along the way:

1. Welcome Christ into Your Heart

On the Feast of the Holy Family, we opened the Jubilee in the Archdiocese of Vancouver. With the Church throughout the world, we  proclaimed: “For everyone, may the Jubilee be a moment of genuine, personal encounter with the Lord Jesus, the ‘door’ (cf. John 10:7,9) of our salvation, whom the Church is charged to proclaim always, everywhere, and to all as ‘our hope’ (1 Timothy 1:1).”

This year of Jubilee – as in any other year! – is a time to welcome Christ more profoundly into our hearts. For some, this may mean welcoming Him to be the Lord of their lives for the first time. The Jubilee urges others to deepen the relationship begun at Baptism and re-centre themselves in Him. 

Conversion and ongoing conversion are always available to us as a grace of the Holy Spirit. St. Ambrose spoke succinctly of these two conversions, “there are water and tears: the water of Baptism and the tears of repentance.”  May these words of St Ambrose lead us this year to seek more profound encounters with Christ, our “hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27)!

Indeed, the Jubilee of Hope can inspire a new beginning in our spiritual life, the possibility to starting again from Christ and the Gospel.

2. Sow Hope

Christian hope differs from the wishful thinking that everything will align with what we want. Optimism is fleeting; it always has an expiration date. On the other hand, Christian hope is an enduring gift of the Holy Spirit. It remains steadfast because it’s rooted in God’s unwavering fidelity. This hope strengthens us, allowing us to navigate even the most challenging times with confidence. 

As the Apostle Paul reminds us, “If God is for us [and He is!], who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). We should also share the profound insight of the medieval mystic Julian of Norwich: “All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.”

True hope doesn’t lead to passivity but to action. “The one who has hope lives differently; the one who hopes has been granted the gift of a new life.”  In this Jubilee year, let’s combat pessimism by fanning the spark of hope into a flame and helping others look to the future with confidence. 

Have you ever had one of those experiences that was a big turning point in your life? In the moment, perhaps you didn’t know how it was going to affect your future, but you knew you’d be different as a result of it?

Yeah, well that was me after I went on a nine-day pilgrimage to France this past Christmas.

A pilgrimage is a journey made to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion, but traveling to different holy sites in France with four friends of mine was so much more than an act of religious devotion — it was a spiritual adventure. I left life behind, logged off all my social media accounts, put my phone in my backpack, and embraced where I was.

Setting out on the trip, I had a few questions stirring in my heart. At 23, I was unsatisfied with my current career path, and wanted clarity on the future, so I left. I don’t know that I was searching for answers to those questions as much as just a greater depth and understanding of who I am, who God is, and what I’m being called to do with my life.

I knew by getting to know the One who created me more intimately, I would understand more about life, myself, and the questions on my heart. The trip gave me the opportunity to quiet my heart and just be. I went in with a wide open heart, and though I didn’t find any concrete answers to the question about where my life was going, I came back with a sense of profound peace.

While I experienced many beautiful blessings on the trip, the biggest ones occurred in Lourdes, a place in France people visit to seek healing because Mary appeared there.

Over several months in 1848, Mary appeared a number of times to a 14-year-old peasant girl named Bernadette. The young girl had little education and when she tried to explain what happened to her, everyone thought she was making it up. During one of the apparitions, though, Mary instructed Bernadette to start digging in the ground and drink from the spring that would appear. People became concerned as the young girl began digging, eating dirt, and drinking muddy water, but soon, a miraculous spring came forth.

That same spring continues to flow even today and has been the source of many miracles. The Church eventually approved Lourdes as an official Marian apparition siteand millions of pilgrims began journeying there each year seeking physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental healing.

And I get it. To many people in the world today, miraculous waters may sound like some kind of ploy to get attention or money.

At Mass one Sunday morning, as I was kneeling after receiving Communion, I glanced up to see a man pushing his wife’s wheelchair over to the Eucharistic minister. I watched the husband patiently stand by his wife and coax her to open her mouth to receive the host. I found out later that the woman had early onset Alzheimer’s. The tragedy of this disease was eclipsed by the unconditional love I saw in this husband living out his marriage vows. It was an example of pure and beautiful love, a true display of a Godly marriage and faith lived out loud. 

During my spiritual journey, I have struggled to feel close to God during Mass, despite knowing He is physically present. I yearn for this closeness, and I feel jealous when I hear others talking about their profound experiences with the Eucharist. This intimacy has always felt unattainable to me, and while I don’t know why I haven’t experienced it, I keep going back. I hope for this one day, but in meantime, God has found other ways to draw me closer to His heart. 

God speaks to me through small, day-to-day miracles — through interactions with strangers or in the beauty I find in art or nature. It can be as simple as a funny conversation, witnessing an act of humanity, or observing from afar how people treat one another. When I find a piece of art that is profoundly beautiful, I am always awestruck by how our talents are God-given, and the act of using them is a way of saying “yes” to God. Catholics sometimes have the impression that we must reject all things “worldly,” but my faith experience has led me to embrace the world and to not be afraid of what it has to offer. My mom always describes this approach by saying that we are meant “to be in the world, but not of it.” This doesn’t mean unconditional acceptance of everything, but rather only of the pure, beautiful, and true. It’s so easy to get caught up in the despair, sadness, and unsightly things we come across on a day-to-day basis. The goodness that presents itself in the simple minutiae of life can lead us to God’s presence. 

The saints were my first examples of what it means to live a holy and faith-filled life that puts God first. The saints are amazing role models, and their example can teach us how to find God in the everyday. Many found holiness removed from the world, however. The lives of some of these holy men and women seem distant and unattainable — we are not all called to a monastic religious life or to spend hours each day in prayer. 

“What should I do with my life?” It’s a question on many hearts, maybe even our own. 

In this video, Father Mike Schmitz gives some direction that can lead to an answer for ourselves or someone we know. He shares how a vocation is more than just figuring out whether we’re called to married life or religious life, and it’s about more than just finding out what we like to do. 

As he breaks down three different types of vocation we all have, he draws a practical path we can follow to pursue holiness.

We become like the things we spend the most time with.

At the beginning of this year, I made a goal for myself to stop reading journalism with shallow or narrow perspectives. I didn’t like the way it was forming me to think and I wanted to be more proactive about the things I let into my mind. I canceled my news subscription and signed up for a print magazine. I don’t agree with everything this magazine publishes but I like the way it makes me think.

I’ve had a habit for a little while now of checking their top stories each day and reading them. Over time, I’ve noticed that the more I read their articles, the more I start to embrace their way of thinking. Their view of the world, culture, and social issues has impacted how I consider and evaluate issues in my own life and I appreciate the way it’s deepened my ability to think critically.

We become like the things we spend the most time with.

This reality was something that the Hebrew educational system in Jesus’ time seemed to take very seriously. An ancient Hebrew proverb says something to the effect of “may you be covered in the dust of your Rabbi.” The image here evokes someone who follows so closely behind their teacher that the dust from his feet is kicked up onto them and covers them. This was the educational system Jesus chose to invite His followers into, one where the dust from His feet would cover them as they followed Him ever more closely.

This image of discipleship has been top of mind for me over the last few years as I’ve considered the things that I allow to shape and form me. I’ve been led to ask myself the difficult question: “is there anything or anyone I allow to ‘disciple me’ more than Jesus does?” If I’m honest, there is one thing that competes most successfully for my attention.

The global daily average for time spent on screens is 6 hours, 58 minutes. Statistics such as this one are often presented in an alarming way. I don’t believe this is always warranted – it’s a fact of life that in our digital age, we will spend much time working, communicating, and recreating through digital devices. At the same time, I fear that many Christians who hope to seriously follow Jesus, have not given enough thought to how these digital devices are forming and shaping them. In other words, do I ever consider what kind of person my technology is making me into?

Here are some of the questions I have used over the last few years to evaluate the impact technology is having on my life, as well as a practice recommended by my spiritual director that has been instrumental in helping me make room for Jesus to be the one who forms me first.

We are told to honor our mother and father…but what about our grandparents? Well they get a special shout-out today, in the readings, and in our lives. Preached on a mission at St. John the Baptist Church in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma on March 11, 2015.

© 2024 Busted Halo^®, All rights reserved.

I stepped through the door of the newborn intensive care unit (NICU) trembling. When I found my daughter’s son, Allen Joseph, I froze. It was the first time I had ever seen him. I’d never expected a moment like this, his premature, tiny body swaddled in a blanket and connected to machines all around him. As I placed my finger on his cheek, tears streamed down my face. Welcome to the world, Allen Joseph.

That’s when it happened. My heart stretched and grew a whole new chamber. From the very first moment I saw him, I loved every single ounce of my first grandson. And I knew I would never be the same.

Today we have four grandsons, and we have dreams for each one: Allen, Sam, Matthew, and Michael. Our deepest desire is that they each will lead great lives. We want them to be happy. We pray each will find life in Jesus and his Church.

God has great dreams for each child. And he calls grandparents to help our grandchildren achieve them. God has given us this new vocation, the life of a grandparent.

Here are five simple ways to play a significant role in shaping your grandchild’s life and faith:

1. Love lavishly

Children value and follow those they trust and love. If you want to help shape your grandchild’s life, they will have to trust you first. To trust you, they will first need to experience your love.

This love is experienced most of all in time spent being fully present with your grandchild. Hug your grandson. Tell your granddaughter you love her every time you talk to or see her. Let your home be a place of refuge and security. Send cards or gifts. Make video calls. Text messages of love. Visit as often as you can. Play together. Listen attentively to everything they say.

Your undivided attention shows children that they matter and are loved, and secure love lays the foundation for faith.  

2. Pray passionately

Just imagine what your family would look like if you made it your one goal to pray each day for their faith and their lives. Every family needs a prayer champion. Imagine the confidence your grandson or granddaughter will feel throughout their life by simply knowing that their grandparent prays for them each day by name.

3. Dream deeply

Dreams are powerful, and each of us has them. Kids dream naturally. In those dreams, they find their purpose for life and their passions for living.

How do you help your grandchild to dream? Ask questions. Ask them about what they want to be, what they hope for, or what makes them excited.

Your grandparents, aunts and uncles, and older loved ones have a lifetime of wisdom to share. Why not carve out some time to sit down and ask them about it?

We’ve put together this list of questions that you can print out and jot down their answers about their childhood, favourite things, and life lessons. And don’t feel like you need to stick to the handout — the questions can serve as conversation starters. Your loved ones will likely have more to share than we could even think up!

Download the worksheet by clicking the link below:

Download Worksheet

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