Category: Behold Vancouver

You need to know yourself in order to find the best ways to live Lent. Take some time to consider who you are and what your relationships need.

It’s important to know yourself well when you decide how you will fast, pray, and give alms this Lent.

If you do, then maybe you can combine all three in ways that are tailor-made to improve the most important relationships of your life.

Let’s start with your relationship with God.

We all have a different problem here. 

Maybe you are overwhelmed. Are you exhausted by your many devotions? Maybe you do rosaries, chaplets, and novenas  — and rosary novenas and chaplet novenas —  along with daily Mass, feast day activities, daily podcasts, and parish events, and you’re drowning in it all.

Or maybe you are presumptuous. Maybe you do all of those things and you actually keep up with it all. Your inbox provides the novena for next week’s feast each morning, you are on the second half of a 54-day rosary novena, you get a chaplet in most afternoons at around 3, and you are going through Bible in a Year for the third time. Maybe you are pretty sure that even God is impressed with you.

Or maybe your spiritual life is on hold. Maybe you did many of these things for much of your life, but you are just really, really busy right now. You totally plan to pray again — when you have more time. Maybe in late spring?

Whether you are overwhelmed, presumptuous, or on hold —  you can do something about it this Lent. Give up worrying about anything but daily prayer, Sunday Mass, and regular confession — but put more into each of those. At your daily prayer, picture Jesus sitting across from you, lean forward, and say, “Can we just talk for a change?” He would love to hear from you.

Then comes your relationship with your spouse.

Again, let’s be clear where we are starting. 

Are you walking on eggshells with your spouse? Maybe you’re fine, totally fine, as long as you can steer the conversation away from two or three or, well, maybe 10, touchy topics that set you off. If you talk about any of those you get angry fights or silent funks. So you don’t talk about those. And you’re fine.

Are you being maternalistic or paternalistic with your spouse? Maybe your husband complains that you don’t let him do anything he likes and that you shut down every plan he tries to make — but of course you do because his priorities are all wrong. Or maybe your wife complains that you don’t listen to her — but you most certainly do listen, on the rare occasions she actually has something important to say.

Do your Lenten practices feel arbitrary? Do your penances seem ineffective? If you’re feeling this way, you might be wondering, “what do you want from me this Lent, God?” 

You might hear the answer as you receive cruciform ashes on your forehead this Ash Wednesday: “Repent, and believe in the Gospel.” 

Fr. Mark-Mary wants you to transform your Lent with one simple idea: repentance. There is a better way to do this, and it’s not complicated. We hope you have a blessed Lent this year!

©AscensionPresents

Lent is often a time when we are invited to pray the Stations of the Cross, a devotion that has multiple lessons we can learn about the spiritual life.

One of the most popular devotions during Lent is the Stations of the Cross. Parishes around the world will hold special times when the faithful can come to the Church and pray the Stations together.

It is a devotion that simply “makes sense” during Lent, as it is focused on the intense passion and death of Jesus Christ.

The Directory on popular piety and the liturgy explains that it is a “synthesis” of various Lenten devotions:

The Via Crucis is a synthesis of various devotions that have arisen since the high middle ages: the pilgrimage to the Holy Land during which the faithful devoutly visit the places associated with the Lord’s Passion; devotion to the three falls of Christ under the weight of the Cross; devotion to “the dolorous journey of Christ” which consisted in processing from one church to another in memory of Christ’s Passion; devotion to the stations of Christ, those places where Christ stopped on his journey to Calvary because obliged to do so by his executioners or exhausted by fatigue, or because moved by compassion to dialogue with those who were present at his Passion.

While it certainly is focused on Jesus’ passion, the Directory notes four additional lessons that we can learn from it.

1. Life as a Pilgrimage

The Directory explains that the Stations of the Cross can open us up to the idea of, “life being a journey or pilgrimage.”

When praying the Stations of the Cross, it is common to move from one station to the next. This physical movement is sometimes made even more dramatic when praying at outdoor stations that wind its way up and down a hill.

Our life is a journey, a pilgrimage, that will be difficult at times, but will lead us to our ultimate home.

2. Preparation for Heaven

Connected to the previous lesson, the Stations can remind us that our life is “a passage from earthly exile to our true home in Heaven.”

Life can be difficult and Jesus’ passion puts this suffering on full display. When praying the Stations we can reflect on our own lives and how the many sufferings we experience prepare us for our true home.

3. Uniting ourselves to Jesus’ Passion

The Stations have an obvious lesson of igniting within us “the deep desire to be conformed to the Passion of Christ.”

While we may not always feel a great inner desire to be united to Jesus’ Passion, the Stations are a reminder to us that Jesus invites us to be with us at the cross.

There’s something special about Mass on Ash Wednesday — Catholics everywhere scramble to find a church and a Mass time so they can fit it into their day.

If you’re Catholic and walking around with a clean forehead on Ash Wednesday, you kinda feel like you went to work without your pants. But at the same time, when you do have ashes on your head, it’s hard to avoid the feeling that you’re a walking billboard for religion.

It’s a confusing day to be Catholic. If we’re supposed to “pray in secret” as Jesus commands in the Ash Wednesday Gospel reading, is it really a good idea to paste something on our foreheads to tell the world that we’re practicing our faith? On the other hand, when you see someone at the deli counter wearing their own smudge of ashes, you can give them a silent nod with the knowledge that you’re in this thing together and that’s pretty cool.

Perhaps Ash Wednesday is an important day for Catholics of all types because those ashes signify our participation in a community that’s walking toward God together. Even for those who haven’t been to Mass in ages, receiving and wearing those ashes is an important outward sign of an inward reality: we’re all part of this family.

There’s more to Ash Wednesday Mass than just the ashes, though. If it were just about smudging foreheads, they’d have a drive-through lane next to the church! When you’re at Mass on Ash Wednesday, here are three things to notice beyond the ashes.

1. Standing in line

When we walk forward to receive ashes, we walk in a line, just like we do to receive Communion. This line is a great equalizer — rich and poor, young and old, Yankees fans and Red Sox fans — we all walk in the same line toward one destination. Many stand in front of us, many stand behind.

It’s not a bad image for why we turn to faith: we walk together toward the table where God meets us, and then we return to where we came from. We’re all poor and hungry in line for a meal. We come and we go, together.

We can think of Mass as a beating heart, drawing us in, sending us out. When we join this rhythm, we’re restored and renewed as we approach the altar, and then we are sent out to take that nourishment to others.

That doesn’t mean that every time we come to Mass, we have an earth-shattering epiphany, or even an emotional experience. It just means that we come to Mass to connect our lives to God’s life in ordinary ways.

How to fight the battle for our souls — and win.

If you knew you had to fight for your life, would you want some time to prepare for that struggle? How would you spend that time? Surely, you would want to spend some of that time choosing suitable weapons and defenses, and you would want to learn how to use them well.

Most of us will never have to fight for our physical lives, but all of us are in a fight — right now — for our souls.  Every human soul is a battleground between the grace of God and the evil of the fallen world, fallen flesh, and the devil. The season of Lent is a time to be vividly reminded of that constant, often hidden conflict. In an earlier column, I described Lent as a time to get serious about confronting the evil within us and the evil around us.  In my last column, I wrote about how to discern whether we are fulfilling or failing Lent’s purposes.  This week, let’s look at the tools needed to fight Lent’s battle — the battle for our souls — and win.

The three traditional Lenten disciplines are prayer, fasting and almsgiving. Saint Peter Chrysologus taught that “prayer knocks, fasting obtains, mercy receives.” How can we take that wisdom to heart for Lent, and let those disciplines become our arms and armor for the constant battle for our souls?

Let’s start with prayer. Jesus never said, “Pray more” or “Pray better.” He did teach us to pray always. (Luke 18:1) To pray is to enter consciously and deliberately into the presence of God. Jesus was faithful unto death because He knew that He was always in the presence of our Heavenly Father, even when He did not feel that presence.

If you had the opportunity to be constantly in the presence of a father who loved you absolutely, would you take it? But we all have that opportunity! We are all always in the presence of our Heavenly Father Who loves us perfectly. During this Lenten season, find the answer to this question: “What would my life look like if I really believed that I am always in the presence of my Heavenly Father, Who loves me absolutely?” Then live according to the answer to that question — whether you feel like it or not. To “pray always” means to “practice the presence of God.” 

What about fasting? So many people seemed caught up in parsing the minutiae of what constitutes a fast and what does not qualify as a fast. Those considerations are not irrelevant, but they are not paramount.

Valentine’s Day celebrates the life of St. Valentine of Rome, a priest who was martyred on February 14.

February 14 marks the popular holiday of Valentine’s Day, a day to show your love to someone special in your life.

The reason it is called Valentine’s Day is because the Church used to celebrate the life of St. Valentine on this date.

Who was St. Valentine?

February 14 honors the memory of St. Valentine of Rome, a priest who was martyred on this day in the year 270.

A brief biography of St. Valentine is featured in Butler’s Lives of the Saints.

Valentine was a holy priest in Rome, who, with Saint Marius and his family, assisted the martyrs in the persecution under Claudius II. He was apprehended, and sent by the emperor to the prefect of Rome; who, on finding all his promises to make him renounce his faith ineffectual, commanded him to be beaten with clubs, and afterwards to be beheaded, which was executed on the 14th of February, about the year 270. 

Generally speaking, this is most of what we know about the real St. Valentine with any certainty. After his death many legends were composed about him. One of the earliest legends about his life is featured in the Golden Legend.

When St. Valentine was brought in a house in prison, then he prayed to God, saying: “Lord Jesus Christ, very God, which art very light, illumine this house in such wise that they that dwell therein may know you to be very God.” And the provost said: “I marvel that you say that your God is very light, and nevertheless, if he may make my daughter to hear and see, which long time hath been blind, I shall do all that you command me, and shall believe in your God.” St. Valentine put him in prayers, and by his prayers the daughter of the provost received again her sight, and all they of the the house were converted. After, the emperor cut off the head of St. Valentine, the year of our Lord two hundred and eighty.

It wasn’t until much later that St. Valentine was associated with lovers, and the invention of the modern-day celebration of Valentine’s Day. Even the story of St. Valentine performing marriages comes at a later date.

Regardless of these later additions to this story, the early Christians venerated St. Valentine of Rome as a holy martyr, who stayed faithful to Christ despite persecution.

Sometimes, Valentine’s Day can feel a little.. cliche? We fall into it “feeling” the same every year — flowers, chocolates, or dinner. These are all beautiful things! But how can we make it feel really meaningful. 

Just like anniversaries have taught us, creating intentionality in your relationship takes time, effort, and sometimes, a little extra guidance. From guidance or structure can come really profound fruit. 

Occasionally, ‘guidance’ can take the form of leaning on a list.

Again, you may be thinking:
“My spouse won’t respond if I pull out a list of questions!”
“It’s just going to be me responding.”
“I don’t feel comfortable sharing these.”
“This isn’t how my spouse and I talk to one another!”
“This feels forced and too cheesy.” 

And while these thoughts are valid, it’s important to also acknowledge that sometimes, nurturing relationships requires utilizing some communication tools to make space for the kind of experiences you truly want. 

Structure can feel forced or disingenuous; however, authentic, genuine, deep connection often doesn’t come naturally—whether that’s because you are still figuring out your communication style as a new couple or you’ve spent years getting really comfortable with one another and have fallen into status quo. 

Whether you’re spending time with your spouse or partner over dinner, writing them a card, or simply spending a few minutes together connecting between bedtimes and cleaning up the house–the questions below are meant to bring a deeper layer of intentionality. This is a chance to check in on each person and continue to support one another in the ways needed.

So, we want to propose a few Valentines Day questions to ask your partner, whether you’re in year 1 or year 30. 

• What is something that has brought you a lot of joy lately? 
• What has been the most challenging thing for you lately? 
• Pick three words you would use to describe yourself right now.
• What was the last great book you read / podcast you listened to?
• What area of life do you want to grow in? 
• What ways are you growing spiritually? 
• What do you think God is doing in your life, or speaking to you right now? 
• What has been rewarding in your career lately? 
• What has been rewarding at home? 
• What is one goal you are currently working towards?
• What was something that you have grown in valuing of your partner recently?
• What is something you feel like we’ve done well as a couple? 
• What is something that you hope we can grow in? 
• What do you need me from me? How can I support you?

This might get lost in your inbox – so download these questions as cards and print them out, or swipe through on your phone!

“I already feel guilty enough about what I did. I don’t need a priest to make me feel more guilty.”

Prayer, fasting, and almsgiving are three spiritual practices we encourage during Lent. As part of those practices, we also encourage making a good confession. And yet, rather oddly, some people see feeling guilty as an obstacle to this sacrament.

If you already feel guilty about something you have said or done, that means you recognize it as wrong. And, that’s not bad. Folks who couldn’t care less if they hurt someone are the worrisome ones. They have the bigger problem. But, back to you.

The priest isn’t there to make you feel more guilty, but to help you move through your sense of guilt to being freed to live the life that God wants you to live. God wants to unburden you from an ego that is focused only on yourself.

6 points for going to Confession without feeling more guilty

It’s been a while since I’ve gone to confession.

That’s okay. Just tell that to the priest, and he will help you. The priest understands that people forget, or even never learned, how to go to confession. So, when you go into the reconciliation room (sometimes still called the confessional), just tell him:

“Father, it’s been a while since I’ve made a confession, and I don’t remember how it’s done. Can you help me?” (or) “I haven’t done this before. I don’t know how to begin.”

Remember this ONE thing above all else.

The priest is not there to judge you, but to be a minister of God’s love and forgiveness. He is there to serve you and your relationship with God.

Before you see the priest.

Consider the following two questions in preparation for confession:

1. How long has it been since your last confession?
2. What is it that you would like God to forgive you for? If you’re not sure, then ask yourself what prompts you to go to confession. Perhaps …

• You do not pray every day.
• You intentionally hurt someone.
• You did something that is contrary to the Christian life.
• You are unable let go of a grudge against someone who hurt you or someone you love.

Remember this, too.

A confession is not a trial by a judge or jury, but part of the Sacrament of God’s forgiveness — God’s loving embrace of you. God knows that you are not perfect, which is why he gives you Jesus. Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead. With Jesus, you move through death to life. With Jesus, you can move from feeling guilty to living life as Jesus wants you to live.

As Catholics around the world embark on the Jubilee of Hope, Archbishop J. Michael Miller, CSB, has shared a Pastoral Letter encouraging us to embrace this sacred time as a season of renewal, grace, and spiritual growth. Drawing from the rich traditions of the Church, he outlines five meaningful ways to fully participate in the Jubilee Year of 2025.

Here are his five practices to help you along the way:

1. Welcome Christ into Your Heart

On the Feast of the Holy Family, we opened the Jubilee in the Archdiocese of Vancouver. With the Church throughout the world, we  proclaimed: “For everyone, may the Jubilee be a moment of genuine, personal encounter with the Lord Jesus, the ‘door’ (cf. John 10:7,9) of our salvation, whom the Church is charged to proclaim always, everywhere, and to all as ‘our hope’ (1 Timothy 1:1).”

This year of Jubilee – as in any other year! – is a time to welcome Christ more profoundly into our hearts. For some, this may mean welcoming Him to be the Lord of their lives for the first time. The Jubilee urges others to deepen the relationship begun at Baptism and re-centre themselves in Him. 

Conversion and ongoing conversion are always available to us as a grace of the Holy Spirit. St. Ambrose spoke succinctly of these two conversions, “there are water and tears: the water of Baptism and the tears of repentance.”  May these words of St Ambrose lead us this year to seek more profound encounters with Christ, our “hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27)!

Indeed, the Jubilee of Hope can inspire a new beginning in our spiritual life, the possibility to starting again from Christ and the Gospel.

2. Sow Hope

Christian hope differs from the wishful thinking that everything will align with what we want. Optimism is fleeting; it always has an expiration date. On the other hand, Christian hope is an enduring gift of the Holy Spirit. It remains steadfast because it’s rooted in God’s unwavering fidelity. This hope strengthens us, allowing us to navigate even the most challenging times with confidence. 

As the Apostle Paul reminds us, “If God is for us [and He is!], who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). We should also share the profound insight of the medieval mystic Julian of Norwich: “All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.”

True hope doesn’t lead to passivity but to action. “The one who has hope lives differently; the one who hopes has been granted the gift of a new life.”  In this Jubilee year, let’s combat pessimism by fanning the spark of hope into a flame and helping others look to the future with confidence.