Category: Behold Vancouver

The truth is, as often as we’re speaking, we’re witnessing. Every word is its own testimony.

How does it seem as though two people are talking past each other? Or that two people are firmly convinced that, individually, they’re in the right but the other is in the wrong?

There’s a way to fix the habits that lead to broken communication, and I’m going to suggest an unlikely starting place — the 9th Commandment (or the 8th Commandment according to the Catholic numbering of the commandments; I was using my old Protestant Bible when I wrote this, so I refer to it as the 9th).

The Commandment is, “Thou shalt not bear false witness.”

But wait a minute

But is the 9th really that easy to skip past? I was making a lot of assumptions, assumptions that any good examination of conscience won’t allow me to get away with. My modern mind, accustomed as it is to a court system and trials by jury, was identifying a witness only in connection with an official legal process, or with outright lying when asked a question about someone else. This is not at all accurate.

The truth is, as often as we’re speaking, we’re witnessing. Every word is its own testimony. Negative people often bear false witness against the blessings they’ve been given. Cynical people bear false witness against hope. Angry people bear false witness against the need for forgiveness. Bored people bear false witness against wonder. What might seem to be harmless gossip bears false witness against others.

The truth is, as often as we’re speaking, we’re witnessing. Every word is its own testimony.

The more I live a life that I don’t have to lie about, the less I lie … Aren’t there basically three reasons we tend to lie?

What are the reasons we lie?

Second, we lie to make ourselves look better. I have the uncanny ability to make myself the hero of the story I’m telling. I’m a great editor at making my role in the story sparkle. Everything I said was witty and pithy. I had just the right comeback when I was insulted. I was right about everything.

Third, we lie to avoid trouble. When I was a child, I would tell my mom I cleaned my room. Tell my teacher I did my homework. Tell the boss I finished the task. Claim that I ate all my broccoli (when in fact I’d hidden it in a napkin and put it in the trashcan).

Little white lies are things we say out of convenience and laziness. Fixing the latter goes a long way towards eliminating the former. The more I live a life that I don’t have to lie about, the less I lie. Of course, there are still some awkward moments, times when people don’t understand where I’m coming from when I decline an invitation or say no to an event, but I’ve found that the more consistently and transparently I draw my boundaries, the easier it is. For instance, I’ve let it be widely known that, as an early riser, I rarely accept invitations to events that go past 8:30 pm. It’s nothing personal; it’s just that I’ll fall asleep in my seat.

Daily life can drag you down; the to-do lists seem to be never-ending. It begs the question, were we made to be so busy? And if not, how can we rest in God? 

Sister Mary Grace shares powerful personal stories and her top tips on how we can all truly rest in the Lord.

Fr. Mike Schmitz reflects on the brokenness of humanity and the damage of sin. What do we do now? You get what you choose and you will become what you repeatedly choose.

Why do we chase love that hurts us? Why is it so hard to receive real love? 

Many of us carry unmet childhood needs into adulthood, leaving us stuck in unhealthy patterns. In this episode, Fr Columba helps us recognise our emotional wounds, stop self-sabotaging relationships, and open ourselves to authentic love—from God, from others and for ourselves.

Do you think of Christianity as a set of rules? A list of dos and don’ts? 

In this episode, Fr Columba opens with a striking line from the Acts of the Apostles: the angel doesn’t tell the disciples to preach a doctrine or teach a philosophy. He tells them to share “this way of life.” Drawing on his own experience of encountering Catholic teaching on the human person for the first time, Fr Columba walks through the practical essentials that actually make us human: works of charity, daily prayer, the sacraments, real fellowship in the Church, and passing the faith on to others.

The “Preferential Option for the Poor” is a Catholic social teaching on how the Bible gives priority to the well-being of the poor and powerless. 

Referring to the Preferential Option for the Poor, Pope Leo XIV writes in his Apostolic Exhortation Dilexi Te, “This ‘preference’ never indicates exclusivity or discrimination towards other groups, which would be impossible for God. It is meant to emphasize God’s actions, which are moved by compassion toward the poverty and weakness of all humanity. Wanting to inaugurate a kingdom of justice, fraternity and solidarity, God has a special place in his heart for those who are discriminated against and oppressed, and he asks us, his Church, to make a decisive and radical choice in favor of the weakest… With St. John Paul II, the Church’s preferential relationship with the poor was consolidated, particularly from a doctrinal standpoint. His teaching saw in the option for the poor a ‘special form of primacy in the exercise of Christian charity, to which the whole tradition of the Church bears witness.'” 

Fr. Mark-Mary shares powerful examples of how we can put the poor and weakest among us at the front of our hearts and minds.

Shift your attitude about leadership and it can change your life.Think of the names of some living leaders.

Is your own name on that list?

I guess not. But it should be. Each of us has a leadership opportunity and responsibility, every single day, whether at home or at work. What’s more, showing leadership is core to our calling in this world. That will become clear in following paragraphs, as we discard some faulty stereotypes to reach a more authentic understanding of leadership.

We don’t typically think of ourselves as leaders. We stereotypically associate “leadership” with hierarchy and fame. You and I aren’t leaders; popes, presidents, and chief executives are. To proclaim oneself a leader? That sounds like chest-thumping arrogance, directly contradicting the New Testament’s manifold exhortations to humility: “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled,” for example, or, “Blessed are the meek,” or “Humble yourselves before the Lord,” and we could go on.

But a life of leadership is not at all inimical to a Christian worldview; rather, it’s core to the Christian calling.

Consider one common dictionary definition: Leadership involves “pointing out a way, direction, or goal,” and “influencing others toward it.” Well, every one of us is living that definition every day. We’re not standing on street corners holding road signs and literally pointing out the way. But we’re doing so implicitly. By our behaviors, values, and priorities, we’re pointing out a way of living, our vision of how human beings ought to live and treat one another in this world. Many of us are parents, and all of us have parents: Could there be any more obvious example of “pointing the way” and “influencing others” than what parents do for children over a lifetime? Good parenting, then, is good leadership.

Once we embrace this way of thinking, the “leadership light bulb” goes off and transforms our approach to life and work. Leadership becomes today’s challenge and my challenge. Remember Martin Luther King, Jr.’s eloquent call to embrace “the fierce urgency of now”? Well, that happens upon accepting one’s leadership responsibility: We “embrace the now” by discovering each day’s small opportunities to point out a way of living through our example: How am I using my time? How am I treating my children, community members, or work colleagues? How am I using my money?

It’s no longer some remote opportunity that may emerge if I someday manage hundreds of subordinates; instead, leadership is about the influence I can have today, whether I’m managing hundreds or indirectly influencing a handful of family members and colleagues. And it’s no longer the exclusive domain of high and mighty personages who wrestle with world-shaking issues in the global limelight; it also involves the more humble impact that I can make.

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) 

Woah! Come again? On the list of controversial and misunderstood Bible verses, this is near the top. 

When it swings through in the cycle of Mass readings, folks are often left in the pew looking at each other like, “Did anyone else just hear what St. Paul said?” 

If you’ll let Fr. Mike explain this scripture passage, it will transform the way you understand Christian marriage (for the better).

After college, there was a period in my life when I dreaded the weekends.  

I anxiously awaited the long hours of unstructured time I would spend trying to distract myself from my loneliness. It wasn’t that I lacked friends, it was the physical distance between us that left me without plans on the weekends. As I adjusted to moving back home while working full-time as a college librarian and not having connections at my fingertips like I had when I was a student, I hungered for community with peers.

My instinct during this time of loneliness was to take advantage of as many opportunities as possible to foster social connection. I joined a women’s group at a parish in Chicago and volunteered as a literacy tutor. I invested in hobbies that would sustain my body and mind – I went to exercise classes and rollerbladed, I started a gratitude journal and listened to audiobooks. 

LISTEN: How Can I Be Strong in Faith While Missing Community? 

Though these pursuits were healthy and helped me discover what fulfills me, I could not stay present and enjoy them when my focus remained on what I lacked. I stayed in motion but hadn’t found my place, becoming bitter and cynical when these activities did not produce the community I craved. Rather than reframing this period of loneliness as an opportunity to try new experiences and reevaluate my priorities, I saw it as a burden that I didn’t deserve to carry. I concentrated too much on what I wanted to gain from these activities rather than on what I could give to God and others through them.

As this period continued, I knew I needed help. While I received support through mental health counseling, I also brought this ache to my spiritual life, turning to saints who had both experienced pain and found profound peace in trusting God. I asked our Blessed Mother Mary for help finding good and holy friendships. I prayed a novena to St. Therese the Little Flower, asking for the courage to pursue true friendships. On the last day of the novena, I joined a woman whom I had briefly met at Mass for a drink. It was the first new friend I had made in a long time, and the conversation we had affirmed me that a new, meaningful connection was possible.

RELATED: Three Female Saints and Mystics Who Guide Me to Freedom

As I struggled to let go of my need for control and rely on the saints’ intercession, opportunities for friendship and community began to present themselves more naturally, but without the same sense of pressure. I was invited to volunteer with an organization that hosts afterschool programs for girls, and I met other like-minded women who also volunteered there.