Sometimes, Valentine’s Day can feel a little.. cliche? We fall into it “feeling” the same every year — flowers, chocolates, or dinner. These are all beautiful things! But how can we make it feel really meaningful.
Just like anniversaries have taught us, creating intentionality in your relationship takes time, effort, and sometimes, a little extra guidance. From guidance or structure can come really profound fruit.
Occasionally, ‘guidance’ can take the form of leaning on a list.
Again, you may be thinking:
“My spouse won’t respond if I pull out a list of questions!”
“It’s just going to be me responding.”
“I don’t feel comfortable sharing these.”
“This isn’t how my spouse and I talk to one another!”
“This feels forced and too cheesy.”
And while these thoughts are valid, it’s important to also acknowledge that sometimes, nurturing relationships requires utilizing some communication tools to make space for the kind of experiences you truly want.
Structure can feel forced or disingenuous; however, authentic, genuine, deep connection often doesn’t come naturally—whether that’s because you are still figuring out your communication style as a new couple or you’ve spent years getting really comfortable with one another and have fallen into status quo.
Whether you’re spending time with your spouse or partner over dinner, writing them a card, or simply spending a few minutes together connecting between bedtimes and cleaning up the house–the questions below are meant to bring a deeper layer of intentionality. This is a chance to check in on each person and continue to support one another in the ways needed.
So, we want to propose a few Valentines Day questions to ask your partner, whether you’re in year 1 or year 30.
- What is something that has brought you a lot of joy lately?
- What has been the most challenging thing for you lately?
- Pick three words you would use to describe yourself right now.
- What was the last great book you read / podcast you listened to?
- What area of life do you want to grow in?
- What ways are you growing spiritually?
- What do you think God is doing in your life, or speaking to you right now?
- What has been rewarding in your career lately?
- What has been rewarding at home?
- What is one goal you are currently working towards?
- What was something that you have grown in valuing of your partner recently?
- What is something you feel like we’ve done well as a couple?
- What is something that you hope we can grow in?
- What do you need me from me? How can I support you?
This might get lost in your inbox – so download these questions as cards and print them out, or swipe through on your phone!